Finding Confidence in Your Imperfections
It’s a nice idea isn’t it? To be so happy with yourself that you no longer pay any attention to the areas of you, that you would consider to be ‘imperfect’.
The truth is, for many people it’s just that. An idea.
“We live in a society that is so focused on appearance - the Instagram generation. Images of perfect bodies and perfect skin are everywhere. It can be so damaging to those of us who feel less than perfect.” I wrote this earlier this year and I wanted to refer to it. Why? Because it’s something I feel very passionate about. The world of social media can be an extremely negative place for people suffering with low self-esteem and a lack of confidence. Think about it. How many times have you seen a photo and thought to yourself, ‘Why don’t I look like that?’, ‘How have they achieved this but I can’t?’, ‘wow, they have a perfect life’. You’d be lying to yourself if you said you hadn’t had those thoughts – we all have. Even when you know that people only show the best of themselves on social media, the best and most exciting parts of their life, it’s still so easy to get caught up in it and compare yourself to others. But this has to stop.
You are unique. Your interests. Your dislikes. Your style. Your body. Your mind. Why are you comparing yourself, to someone that isn’t you?
As someone with HS, I completely understand that it can be hard to just ‘get over’ insecurities and I would never tell someone to do that. It’s not something that’s easily done. It takes time and a complete mind set change but it’s definitely possible, because I’ve done it!
Confidence does not come from how you look. Confidence comes from how you feel. For me, fully accepting my flaws and imperfections has helped me in so many ways. It goes so far beyond being happy with my physical appearance. Finding confidence has given me motivation, increased my productivity levels, pushed me to go out of my comfort zone and try new things and most importantly, it has given me acceptance. I have HS; therefore, I have abscesses and scars and that’s ok. I have ears that stick out a little and stretch marks. I get excited too easily, my passionate nature sometimes comes across as a little bossy and I’m very stubborn. I am far from perfect. But, I’m me and I’m ok with that.
If you don’t learn to find beauty in your scars (physical or emotional) then how can you expect anyone else too?
Here are some of my top tips for finding inner confidence.
Find a job you love! What interests you? What are you passionate about? Working in an environment or job role that brings you joy, will have such a boost on your confidence. We typically work harder at the things we enjoy and therefore, get better outcomes. Better outcomes make us feel better about ourselves. Winner!
Surround yourself with good people! The people in your life should not be having a negative impact on you, or your mental health. These are the people that should be building you up and encouraging you to be the best version of yourself. Spend time with the people that make you feel good and of course, this works both ways. Make them feel good too.
Get a hobby. Whether it be joining a local sports club, indulging in arts and crafts, or starting a book club – whatever interests you, do it! Sometimes, starting a hobby pushes us out of our comfort zone and that’s a good thing. You’ll feel a sense of achievement from that and that’s a massive confidence boost.
Follow positive social media accounts. If you find that photos on Instagram have a negative impact on your feelings, then why are you following those accounts? There are so many great people on social media now, promoting body confidence, supporting mental health and generally sharing positivity. Find some and follow them! It’s your social media feed – make sure the posts you’re seeing bring you joy, not misery!
Embrace you! Do you love wearing bright coloured and patterned clothes? Are you into zombie films? Do you like to drink hot milk before bed? (Yes - I am describing myself here…) Do not be ashamed or afraid to show the real you. Everyone has quirks and that’s what makes us great! How boring would the world be if we were all the same?
Get comfortable with being naked! Now, let’s not make this weird. We were born naked – it’s our natural state. If there are parts of your body that make you unhappy, the best way to deal with that is to get used to seeing them. Look at yourself naked. Get comfortable with it. If you’re hiding from yourself, that is making you think you have a reason to hide and you absolutely do not! I used to get so upset looking at my abscesses and scars – it would bring me to tears, BUT overtime it got easier. The more you see something the less scary it gets. Now, I don’t even really see the scars anymore and that’s not because they’re not visible (because they are) but I guess now, they’re just a part of me. So strip off, do a little dance and say to yourself ‘Damn, I look good naked’ – trust me, it helps!
So there you have it. A sneak peak into how I’ve found confidence in my imperfections. We’re all different, so what works for me may not work for you, but I think the important thing is to try, because you may be surprised at the outcome.
Follow my Instagram for more positive posts, plenty of good food, cat photos and a little bit of me. (bemery92)