Its ok to outgrow your old self.
Have you ever been in a situation, place, or moment where you didn’t quite feel like you belonged? Ever had conversations with people and didn’t quite relate? Perhaps the things you once loved don’t bring you the same joy anymore? If you’ve answered yes to any of these then, like me, chances are you are going through a period of change – or growth, I guess you could call it.
It’s been a funny time for me personally (I’m sure you’ve picked up on this if you know me or have read any of my previous blog posts) I don’t know if it was the pandemic, change in lifestyle or just getting older but there has been a real shift in my mindset, my goals and aspirations in the past eighteen months. The things I want out of life have now become so clear to me. Don’t get me wrong, I still wouldn’t know how to answer the question “where do you see yourself five years from now” but generally speaking, I know what I want out of life. I guess a few years ago I was so consumed by physical pain and mental exhaustion I didn’t really think that far ahead into the future. It took all my energy just to get through a regular day and at that time, that was an achievement in itself.
But, this feeling of growth is quite weird. There have been moments that the old me would have loved that the current me, doesn’t really get joy out of anymore. I’ve been in social situations and have felt like I’m looking through the eyes of a completely different person. I’ve felt uncomfortable doing things I once loved and then felt completely at ease doing things that are new to me! I don’t feel like I’ve outgrown the people in my life, not at all. I love my family and friends but I do feel like I am outgrowing a version of me that once existed.
I am still the same person and yet I’m not. I’m not mad about that. I feel like I’m starting a new chapter of my life, a chapter where for once I can see clearly and have no doubts about what I’m doing or what I want. (No doubts, but to be clear, still a lot of questions and uncertainty because nobody has it completely 100% together, right?)
The reality is this is something everyone goes through at some point in life. It’s ok to sometimes feel a little disconnected to a life you once had. Sometimes it’s good to disconnect yourself from parts of a life that perhaps weren’t working for you. Feeling dissatisfied or confused about aspects of life is completely normal. It’s those feelings that give us the nudge we need to reflect and where required, make changes for the better. It’s ok if you feel like you’re going through something that other people can’t understand because this is about you, nobody else. You don’t need to punish yourself for changing or feel bad about having a new mindset or outlook on life – even if that means you start thinking differently to those around you. The important people in your life will always be there, remember that!
So if like me you’ve been feeling like you’re outgrowing your old self. Embrace it. Look back on the old you not with regret or sadness, but with happiness. We will always be changing and growing, it’s a part of life. If we held on to past versions of ourselves, then how can we expect to be happy with who we are now, or who we will be in the future? We need to allow ourselves to become the new versions of us. Get to know ourselves again and understand that change is inevitable.
I don’t know if the world will resume to the normality I knew before the pandemic, but what I know with 100% certainty is that I wont return to the person I was then. I’ve changed in ways that are unlikely to be reversed and I am ok with that. In fact, I love that. Perhaps in a years’ time I will look back on this blog and feel differently again, but that’s the beauty of growth, right? I truly believe the best lessons come from moments of uncertainty and nothing great comes without change, big or small.
It’s ok to outgrow your old self.
Until next time…
Beth x
